In his diary Leo defines his numerous weaknesses. Going through the records, he summarizes his past and values it ruthlessly and critically.
“Let us see what is my personality.
I am ugly awkward, uncleanly, and, in the worldly sense, uneducated;
I am irritable, a bore to others, rude, intolerant, and as bashful as a child.
I am almost completely ignorant. What I do know I have learned anyhow, independently, by snatches, incoherently, in a disorderly way, and all comes to so little.
I am self-indulgent, irresolute, inconstant, stupidly vain and hot-headed, as are all people with a weak character.
I am not brave,
I am not methodical in my life, and am so lazy that for me idleness has become almost a necessary habit.
I am intelligent, but my intelligence has not yet been thoroughly tried on anything. I have neigher a practical nor a worldly nor a business intelligence.
I am honest, i.e., I love what is right, have got myself into the habit of loving it; and when I deviate from it I am dissatisfied with myself, and return to it with pleasure; but there are things I like more than what is right — fame. I am so vain, and so little has this feeling been gratified that often I am afraid lest, between fame and virtue, I might, if the choice were given me, choose the former.
Yes, I am arrogant, because I am inwardly proud, though I am shy in society.”